Tuesday from The Fringe

Good morning, I had to work this morning, one of my 6 houses that I clean, and I forgot my Ipod, so I had to entertain myself. I got to thinking about this Blog and where it is going to go. Then my mind went a wandering. Thinking of the many times I sat to the sides and let life happen, or watched it happen. See I was and am very content to be here, just existing not making waves, mere ripples. I do not have a high independence drive. I like my freedom and don't really want anyone to disrupt my space. I like being alone, I can entertain myself and just be. I guess it has taken me a long time to grow up. I read a book by Amy Cohen, The Late Bloomers Revolution. It really spoke to me. I too am a late bloomer.

As a fringe dweller, I was happy to stay at home, not move out and let myself be. My dear Mother tried to no avail to get me to move out, find my way, get an apartment, spread my wings. She couldn't really understand why I didn't want to go. See we got along and I liked being home. She could have kicked me out but that wasn't her way.
She got me, I didn't need to explain who I was, or what I wanted out of life. She knew me.

Things happened in our lives, she got sick , and as the years went by, I liked being able to help her, but it wasn't until the last few months of her life that I grew up. I was losing the most important part of my existence, and I couldn't stand it, I still can't. I would wish her back, not sick but back. But we all know that can't happen.

Amy Cohen understood. She wrote what I couldn't say out loud. Her book spoke volumes, and got me thinking of my life at the fringe.
More on another day, until then....

Realizing my life

It came to me the other day that I have existed on the fringe of life. I burst into tears, that this was my life to a 'T'! It was not in sadness that I cried, but the sudden awareness of my existence. It was freeing. It's like I made sense to ME.
Living on the fringe has been interesting, I see things that no one else can or does. I feel this makes me unique in a way I was not aware of.
This blog will move forward from this new reality of mine but also will be of the past where I now know I was the fringe. The stories I will tell. Kind of exciting.
Until then...
Sue